So not only did you teach me about writing memoir, you also taught me about reading and thinking about how others write memoir. Thank you so much! Rebecca

Accepting what is to come

You can’t change the direction of the wind, but you can adjust your sails.

Friday, May 15, 2020

The Good the Bad and the Ugly

Guest post by Roger Carlton. 

There is much good in the world. In 1847, the Choctaw Nation managed to collect $170 and send it to the starving peasants in Ireland's County Cork to help ease the impacts of the potato famine. This was a lot of money for the Choctaw who had been forcibly removed in the Trail of Tears just nine years before. There is a monument in County Cork to celebrate this generosity. 

Today, more than 173 years later, Irish families have sent $2.7 million to the Navajo Nation and the Hopi Reservation to help ease the impacts of the Coronavirus. "The Choctaw showed such decency and humanity and we are still grateful" said Michael Corkery who contributed $200 to the fund. That gratitude after so many years defines good.

There has also been much bad in the world. Last week was the 50th anniversary of the Kent State massacre. Four students were killed and nine injured when the Ohio National Guard opened fire on Kent State University students who were protesting the Vietnam War. There was an iconic picture of a student screaming as she knelt over the body of a fellow student. Arguably this event which was covered extensively in the media changed the tide of public opinion. The ensuing national student strike may have played a role in the downfall of the Nixon Administration although Watergate was the final blow.

The bad here is obvious. The lesson to be learned is that gun violence, whether by protesters or government, has no place in political discourse and  the freedom of speech guaranteed by our democratic way of life. We should be able to demonstrate and express our opinions without violence. Our leaders should not encourage nor praise groups that are known to have a tendency or history toward violence.

The ugly is also apparent as governors struggle to balance the need for caution in returning to some degree of normalcy in our social and economic lives. The desire of many to express their individuality by ignoring the need to wear masks or remain a reasonable distance apart achieves nothing but momentary satisfaction.  The most recent example happened at the Michigan State Capitol. Some protesters of Governor Gretchen Witmer's extended stay at home order carried long rifles, Nazi Swastikas and Confederate flags. They demanded to be let into the building. Some of the legislators wore bullet proof vests. While this behavior represents only a small percentage of the people at the event, it is clear that such ugliness should not be encouraged or tolerated.

While the history of this pandemic continues to unfold every day, we should all try to remember that the good far outweighs the bad and the ugly. There are certainly heroes and villains, acts of generosity and greed, leadership and pandering. For those threatening or using violence to express their displeasure...chill out. The risks are too great.  

Monday, May 11, 2020

Old Diaries and Journals

Mother's Day

Recently I was reading a small red diary written by my twelve-year old self. Only a few sentences scrawled across the pages, however, they brought back memories.
My mother, Lois Robison Council, the sweetest mother ever

My mother gave me freedom to do many things I wanted because she trusted me to be responsible.

But in this diary, I had written about deceiving my mother. I did not tell her things that might end my freedom to ride Daisy. I didn't tell her, and my friend Joyce didn't tell her mother, of the incidents with horses that would have put a stop to our meeting on Saturday afternoons and riding for hours through woods and down trails on open land miles from home. Both Joyce and I had falls from horses, but we weren't hurt and we knew not to tell our mothers if we wanted to continue to ride.

In this diary I tell of the time I was on my way home after riding for hours with Joyce. We had not paid attention to how late it was. It would be dark soon, and I was not going to make it in time. I decided to take a shortcut through an area I had never ridden before. The fat farm horse, Daisy, plodded along until she saw a pile of trash beside the trail. Startled, she shied to the left. I didn't make it with her. I ended up on the ground while Daisy took off through the dark woods. 

When I realized I was able to walk, I headed across an open field hoping to reach the road to my house and hoping Daisy would be somewhere easy to find.
In the diary I didn't say how frightened I was, but I remember being terrified because the sage brush was taller than I was and I couldn't see where I was going. When I finally broke out of the tall grass, I arrived on the side of Fleming Road and within a few seconds a big black car turned down the road as well. What relief! My brothers had come to find me.

How did you know where I was, I asked them once I was snuggled in the front seat between two of them. 

When Daisy came home without you, Mother said for us to go and find you. She was scared to death.

I was ashamed and sad that I had upset my mother. Being the empathetic person I have always been, I felt her fear and worry. I was sure my riding days with my friend were over.

But Mother was so happy to see me and find I was not hurt, she didn't scold me and she didn't take away my privileges, my riding with Joyce. She was a mother who listened, and when she heard why I had taken the shortcut, she understood. She just said to me, Pay more attention to the sun next time.

I was told later by one of my brothers that an open well existed in that big field with the tall grass. If I had fallen in it, they might not have found me because no one would have thought I would be in that field. 

After that day, I told Mother where I would be riding, and I stayed where I could be found if I had an accident. Today, on Mother's Day, I remember and miss my wonderful mother. She was my anchor, my lighthouse, my security blanket. She was the glue that held our family of nine together. Always in the background, but always a prominent figure, we knew she would listen and understand.

Wednesday, May 6, 2020

We have all had our fill of COVID-19 news.

Enlightening words from Roger Carlton, columnist for the Graham Star newspaper.

The death tolls, monumental human suffering, acts of human kindness, heroic efforts to tame the beast and economic impacts on millions of unemployed workers will be in our memories forever. There is one more aspect that needs some thought. It is the "Effectiveness Trap" as expressed by Brett McGurk.

First, who in the world is Bret McGurk?
He is an American diplomat who has served in senior national security positions under Presidents Bush II, Barack Obama and Donald Trump. Most recently, he served as Special Presidential Envoy for the Global Coalition to Counter ISIL. He is a Distinguished Professor at Stanford University.

It is pretty easy to conclude that he is a smart guy who has served presidents of both parties in a distinguished manner. Most importantly, he quit his role when the decision was made to pull out of Syria. That was a great loss to policy-making, but an ethical stand because he thought it was a terrible mistake.

The Effectiveness Trap keeps men and women from speaking out – as clearly or often as they might – within the government. And it is the trap that keeps people from resigning in protest and airing their dissent outside the government. It is one of the great moral questions for a senior government executive or advisor.

 It is the predicament in which Drs. Fauci and Birx find themselves daily in COVID-19 press conferences regarding the Administration's efforts to contain the medical, economic and political crisis with which their leadership is confronted.

 This columnist did not think much about the moral dilemma for these two heroic doctors, until they were confronted with how to react to the question raised regarding ingesting bleach as a potential preventative for the impacts of the virus. A simple "not a good idea" would have been the best answer in a normal world.

 But Washington is not a normal world and probably never has been. So the good doctors made the right moral decision and maintained their effectiveness for the greater good of our society. They did not quit in protest. These heroes just told the truth and maintained their leadership role. That is why we trust them. Their decision-making and recommendations come from scientific knowledge and unbiased concern ... not the politics of the moment.

We should all think about the effectiveness trap. When do you say, as immortalized by Johnny Paycheck in his 1977 hit,Take This Job and Shove It?
Here's the question. What did Johnny Paycheck know when he performed these lines 43 years ago?

 "I been working in this factory for nigh on 15 years.
All this time I watched my woman drownin' in a pool of tears,
 And I've seen a lot of good folks die that had a lot of bills to pay.
I'd give the shirt right offa' my back if I had the guts to say …"

Think about how you would end the verse as you go to the polls in November.

Friday, May 1, 2020

Time Blindness - A new issue we all might be experiencing now

https://www.thecut.com/2020/04/coronavirus-self-isolation-time-blindness.html

The link above leads to an article on a subject I know about but did not know it was a condition with an actual name. Time blindness. I have suffered the effects of it for about ten years. Ever since my husband died in 2009. 

Symptoms I have are losing track of time daily and many times a day. I had a sense of time without the use of a clock. But now I can't leave the kitchen if I am cooking because I forget how long the potatoes have been boiling and soon I smell them burning. I sit down to the computer to work for half an hour but if I don't set a timer, I will work for three hours before realizing how long I have been there.
This has had a troubling effect on me. I wondered why and what has caused my sense of timing to disappear.
In the article by Bridget Reid, she says Dr. Ari Tuckman, a Pennsylvania-based psychologist who specializes in ADHD, says adults typically develop an innate awareness of time and an ability to track its passing. Some people have what he calls a “harder,” or sharper time awareness: they know when they’ve been out for lunch too long, or when something hasn’t been in the oven for long enough.

Others have a much softer one; they can miss appointments and trains, or play a game for hours and not realize they haven’t eaten dinner. This is where I am now. I am often late for appointments because I underestimate the time it takes to get dressed and to drive to my destination. It makes me angry with myself.

Dr. Tuckman says, At the severe end of the spectrum, toward the soft end, is time blindness, which can profoundly impact someone’s life, if they can’t ever keep deadlines or make social events.  
I am grateful that I am not at that end.
Grief is one of the biggest causes of time blindness, says Dr. Tuckman.
Holding onto time is a skill of your mind, like doing math, and sadness sucks up its computing strength, Reid says. 


This is a link to an article on how to deal with time blindness and explains more about this strange phenomenahttps://www.harpersbazaar.com/uk/guide/a32304056/time-blindness-what-is-it-and-do-you-have-it/
I wonder  how many of you might have time blindness, and like me, did not know what it is.

Sunday, April 26, 2020

How Do Our Leaders Make Tough Decisions?

Our guest writer today is Roger Carlton, columnist for The Graham Star newspaper in Robbinsville, NC. Thank you, Roger, for more thought provoking words.  
Roger Carlton

The higher up you are in government the tougher the crisis management job. Mayors and County officials must make local decisions like closing certain roads and how much to invest in emergency medical services. Governors must make state-wide decisions like closing schools and limiting the number of people who can gather. The President must decide how to allocate critical supplies like ventilators and face masks, when to activate medical ships and where to send them and shutting down airports.

President Truman decided to drop two atomic bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki killing or maiming more than 200,000 people. This ended World War II and saved more than 1 million lives if we had to invade Japan. He famously said "The buck stops here." Attorney General Janet Reno mishandled a crisis when she blew up 76 Branch Dividians near Waco Texas. She accepted responsibility and moved on.

 The Governor of Louisiana and Mayor of New Orleans failed when they allowed Mardi Gras to go on and are now paying the price. Their strategy was cry that they weren't warned. Local officials in South Florida and the Governor blew it when they allowed spring breakers to mingle on the beaches. Unfortunately the hotel and restaurant lobby overcame the medical experts. Florida is paying the price now.

More than three years ago, this column was about the election of President Trump and a concept known as "loyal opposition." This means that he was our president and while you may not support his policies and actions, he was still our president and leader. During the past three years, his ability to earn respect and support has been an inverted Bell Curve. Straight down to a Pollyanna ignoring of the expert warnings of a pandemic and then straight up to supporting three relief bills and then down again with a thinking out loud blunder suggesting a quarantine of nearly 20 million people in the New York, New Jersey and Connecticut area. Overall, to be fair, his performance has improved and that is showing in his approval ratings.

Suggesting that we need to get people back into churches by Easter and get the economy going is a difficult choice. If we lessen the current strictures on our lives, many more people will die from the virus than necessary. There may also be a lessening of the risks to our economy if the 3.2 million people who filed for unemployment last week and millions more this week, might begin to be able to go back to work.  Dying people and their grieving families versus people who can't put food on the table. How would you like to have to make that choice?

The thought process that most top leaders follow is called "utilitarianism."  Jeremy Bentham, John Stuart Mill and Thomas Hobbes all influenced this thinking in the late 1700's  when the Industrial Revolution was tearing up traditional societal norms. Utilitarianism instructs leaders that ethical decision making is creating the greatest good for the greatest number of people. To make decisions in this context requires expertise, contemplation and empathy. It also steps on justice and individual rights. Tough stuff when you think about it.

We must remain hopeful. This too will end and then we can evaluate which leader did well and which did not. Each of us can do our part by being responsible with precautions. We must support and thank our first responders who are at risk and the workers in stores that remain open who are also 

Wednesday, April 22, 2020

Help us Help Others


From now until June 1, Estelle Rice and I are offering our proceeds from the sale of Paws, Claws, Hooves, Feathers and Fins to the Clay County Food Pantry when you order from City Lights Books in Sylva, NC.  This volunteer organization feeds many people and the need is large right not.

City Lights is offering a reduced price for shipping as their way of donating.

Send a book to a friend who is staying home for protection from COVID-19.


Signing books last December - It is a great gift to have on hand for those random times you need one.
Remember a birthday coming up and send this delightful book of stories and poems about domestic pets, dogs, cats, horses and birds.

This is what author Lisa Turner said about our book:

 Evokes those special memories and relationships with our animal friends

"The emotional experiences with our beloved pets are captured in poetic detail and images in these wonderful stories in Paws, Claws, Hooves, Feathers and Fins. Our human lives are so enriched by the special relationships we have with all creatures large and small, and these stories capture this delicate and powerful drama so much that we will enjoy reading them again and again. Highly recommend."

Reviewed in the United States on April 11, 2020

Thursday, April 9, 2020

Dr. Steven Woolfe on No Labels


Dr. Steven Woolf is guest on No Labels for a 3:00 PM Citizen Call on Zoom.
You can see Dr. Woolf and those who question him. One of the things I learned was that since the 1980s, the life span in the United States has fallen below that of other life expectancy in other developed countries.

He speaks of the ripple effect of this virus. Many more people will die from chronic illnesses like diabetes, cancer and heart disease.

Most importantly, he says we have not invested in public health. Our CDC and State Health Departments were not prepared although we were warned of such a crisis many years ago.
He speaks of the many children likely to suffer from PTSD in years to come. Our mental health will be affected deeply by this pandemic.

I have said for years that we have a broken health care system, but Dr. Woolfe says it is fragmented with lots of different entities involved. He says, and I agree, we need a National Health Care system which we don't have today. I think we can all see how this is necessary from the debacle we have had with this COVID -19

Watch this informative program. You will likely have to click on the arrow to bring up the speaker.

Friday, April 3, 2020

Our Broken Health Care System has Proven Inadequate


As we all continue to distance ourselves from other people and sanitize everything we touch or that comes into our houses, I can't help but worry about all the older and chronically ill people who have been exposed to the COVID-19, and the families of those who have died. 

I can't help but wonder how many would have been saved had we begun fighting this months ago. I can't help but think that what I've said for many years, we have a broken health care system, has proven to be so true, and now we hear that from many people who didn't make much noise in the past.

I knew our health care system was not the best in the world when my family members (four or more) died from medical mistakes. It became horribly evident to me when the best health care system failed my husband. 

His care was a grotesque medley of mistakes from the wrong diagnosis in the beginning to the end of his life after a team of doctors in Emory Hospital incorrectly diagnosed him with an infectious disease. They filled him with antibiotics, even after they were told he was fighting cancer. I knew the cancer had come roaring back, but those smart physicians refused to contact his cancer doctor in Blairsville. Hospitals and physician practices are in competition. I didn’t know that, but learned the hard way.

I wish it had not taken a pandemic to prove my words. Our hospitals, poorly prepared, with insufficient supplies and far too few nurses, evidently had made no preparation for the day when a health crisis would explode this country. From what I have read and heard these past weeks, scientists and smart medical people who tried to warn us were ignored. In 2015, Bill Gates said we were not prepared for a deadly virus that would be coming.

 Our pompous leaders fell way behind on preparing us, and we the people buried our heads in the sand, not wanting to believe we were not the best. We have heard and preached to ourselves that we are the best until we believed it. Or, we did believe it until a few weeks ago.

I am sympathetic to Senator Sanders who has proclaimed for years that we need a new method of health care. We need a central system where all people can be fairly treated. But that is not the basics of this problem to me. 

My husband and I had insurance and could see doctors, but the administrators are more dollar-minded than healing-minded. Even now hospitals have been fighting over who will get the supplies needed in this crisis. With no federal oversight, it has come down to governors trying to purchase the needed supplies. Hospitals in NYC are overrun with sick people while some hospitals, where there are fewer patients, still have masks and gowns. The governors in those states hold on to them because they fear what will be coming. It makes for states competing with each other and our citizens paying the price.

I imagine some hospitals hoarded their ventilators because of what they expect will happen in their area soon. Small hospitals like Phoebe Putney in Albany, Georgia, were swamped with coronavirus patients and were not prepared at all. Not enough nursing help, not nearly enough ventilators, and not enough protection for the medical staff. Where could they go for help? We had no plan in place for such a disaster. 

This deadly virus will kill thousands of people and I think many could be saved if only we had proactive people in leadership. But, I was told by a city government employee, government is always reactive. That is why two or three people have to die at an intersection before a stop light is installed or any effort is made to prevent what might happen next.

I have been accused of over-reacting, but I would rather over-react by taking precautions than wait and and see. By then it is often too late.  

We need more people in leadership who look for approaching problems and prepare for them, not wait until they have to react, as we are doing now.

What do you think? Are you one to act on your concerns before they become major? Do you think our leaders in this pandemic acted soon enough?